5 things will happen in Jason Bourne
These punchy shooty Matt Damon movies all have several things in common...
Jason Bourne will hit people quickly
Any international superspy can beat up baddies, but Bourne beats up the most in the shortest space of time. Sometimes he’ll hit them with a book or a lamp, perhaps for variety’s sake, but always with the strained-yet-affectless demeanour of an office drone with a lot of documents to hole-punch.
Bourne will jump and climb a lot
Remember free-running? You know, where people run up drainpipes and along rooftops like they have a death wish? The Bourne movies brought it to mainstream cinema. Matt Damon is 45 now, though, so maybe he’ll call it a day and take the bus instead.
There will be people in rooms full of computers
And they’ll say things like ‘we have a situation’ and ‘find him!’ Since The Bourne Identity in 2002, the computers have become more advanced but nobody has got any better at finding Jason Bourne, despite apparently extensive use of Google Earth.
Bourne will non-verbally reflect on the nature of memory and selfhood, probably
Jason Bourne is the result of an advanced CIA brainwashing programme and a former amnesiac. You just know, when he’s driving somewhere alone or taking a shower, that he’s pondering some pretty deep questions. It’s the way Matt Damon does the thing with his mega-expressive brow, which rumours say is insured for over two million dollars.
Moby’s ‘Extreme Ways’ will play over the credits, like it’s still 2002
Because it’s Jason Bourne’s favourite song. It’s the only track he has on his iPod Classic.
