Apocalypse Cruise Ship Love Affair review ★★★★★

Small/fringe theatre productions arriving in London can be pretty hit-and-miss, but Apocalypse Cruise Ship Love Affair is one hell of a hit. Teetering on the edge of insanity, this wildly original musical comedy is as good as anything you'll find on in the West End.

So hold onto your religious habits and prepare for a truly mad ride. This is the story of an ever-lusty cruise ship captain, Captain Bleufond, who has has diverted the boat and all her crew into the heart of an apocalyptic storm in order to resurrect his dead lover from the waves. He is joined by his much-abused First Mate Fittles who, when not trying to dry hump the captain, attempts to dissuade the Bleufond from killing the lot of them.

Unawares that his captain is quite literally hellbent on carrying out his mad scheme, Cruise Director Hanks Leeroys cheerfully goes about his duties on deck, maintaining order and a comfortable level of drunkenness among his wrinkly, old and upsettingly sexual passengers. He breaks the golden cruise ship rule, however, when he sees the perfect 'six inches of face' of the passenger and nun Sister Evie Lowe, and falls madly in love with her.

Unfortunately Sister Evie is married to God. Well, maybe not. She's not sure. But she does want to make it to the Caribbean (rumour has it the original Garden of Eden can be found there) before the apocalypse comes so that they can be spared the worst of its horrors. Can the lovers sort themselves out before God and the deep blue sea drag them all into the afterworld?

The cast of six are hilarious, their comic timing impeccable and the original music disconcertingly catchy (singing 'if she's got two legs then she must have a bum, and if she wasn't a really, really nice person she wouldn't be a nun', on the commute home will earn you some pretty odd looks, take it from us). Nearly every sentence contains a joke or a pun, and those few that don't are said in a very silly voice. What's not to love?

Beach Comet is an anagram of the name of Apocalypse Cruise Ship Love Affair's writer/director, Theo McCabe. The company is dedicated to creating new comedy musicals inspired by over-the-top B-movies.

This week Apocalypse Cruise Ship Love Affair is being staged in the intimate Arts Theatre near Leicester Square. So prepare to get in amongst the action, laugh until your sides hurt and cancel any cruises you might have planned.